I wrote this with respect and love to all who are facing MS in their own way. This has been my way. My hope is we all heal from whatever has been set before us.
I like to use the analogy that when I was born, somehow I flipped the magnets in me. The magnets are what would attract all things that would nourish my soul and cultivate my authentic self. Well, because mine were flipped, I repelled all of those incredible tools and people for 34 years. I might have labeled them as hippie shit, woo woo, weird, too happy, too earthy or down right annoying. You see my mainstream life was great with 3 kids and an adoring husband, the dog, the house and everything in between, but I was always ask ing for more. I wanted to be healthier, happier, have a smokin’ body, have more spirituality and to be well known, just to name a few. I only had one major problem, I was married to the NORM and my lack of curiosity in life itself had me in the same ol’ rut leaving all my desires unfulfilled when it came to an extraordinary life.
On October 28th, 2009 I woke up from a nightmare where I picked up a searing, hot curling iron with my left hand. As I tried to shake the tingles from my hand from the dream, it wouldn’t wake up. Over a seven day span of the numbness and tingling that started in my two little fingers, it spread all across my body and into the right side, leaving me with a useless left hand and a crooked walk. I finally landed in the hospital with what appeared as either an anxiety attack or a serious disease.
I was wheeled out of the hospital 3 days later with a brand spanking new label to add to my name… MS. Carlisle.
I had manifested the most brilliant diagnosis to alarm me that my life was at a dis-ease. My magnets flipped immediately and I was attracting all these possibilities, but I was scared shitless. After all, my first reaction was that I was going to be the new face of MS and the best patient they had ever come across! That desire quickly ended when I was faced with taking my second dose of an interferon with a pre-drug cocktail and I had a breakdown (or breakthrough. whichever way you look at it:). I didn’t want to take the drugs because of a tiny voice inside that felt more crazy than wise. I took one very brave step towards natural healing and as a result miracles felt like they were happening everyday as I began my journey of awakening.
Fear was rampant in the beginning. By day, I wanted to find the most prestigious doctor to tell me exactly what to do. By night, there was a voice inside me asking all the hard questions like, what do YOU think we should do? I tried to find people and things that would calm the fear. I was introduced to modalities that I consider to come in either at the body, mind or soul level. At first I was only willing to come in at the body. I studied countless books on MS diets and I had managed to make a list of ‘can’t eat’ foods that was so long that I essentially starved myself in the first year.
Then it was onto a million supplements, flying from Portland to Sacramento for specialized chiropractic care, juicing, researching centers to fly to and extreme stem cell treatment research. The list goes on and on and it was all necessary for my journey to calm the fear. Once I had a product come into my life thru an MLM and I got a taste of my first symptom-free day and the rest of my journey was set on fire. That product, or maybe my belief in it, was that key that unlocked the biggest part of my fear that was blocking me from seeing the possibilities! For someone else, it might be the drug or treatment.
Once I opened up to more possibilities of healing and got a sense of feeling good and even amazing at times, I was able to look back on the ‘Norm’ that I had accepted and realized there was no turning back. The whisper inside was getting louder and louder and I began to embark on the journey into my mind. I found the courage to continue inside for the answers.
I began to trust that it was ok that I was on my own journey and that I knew what was best for me. I was finally in communication with my body as a partner, not something that turned on me and attacked me. My body was trying to get me a message, but I was numbing up to it. I am so grateful for my MS experience. The letters used to stand for Multiple Sclerosis, and now they stand for MIND SHIFT.
Where does Live Everything Mindful come in…Well, my sister showed me a TedTalk video that rocked my world, when I heard the phrase, “the only difference between the words ILLNESS and WELLNESS is the ‘I’ in illness and the ‘We’ in wellness.” It was after this that I knew exactly what I had done. I had collected my ‘we’ to help me in my search for wellness and I knew that my passion was contagious and I wanted to share this with the world. I always say that if the ‘me’ four years ago were to meet the ‘me’ now, I would have thought I was crazy!
I know that it isn’t the norm to say that I have healed my MS, but I know without a doubt that my life is no longer in dis-ease and the fear of MS is far outweighed by the joy and gratitude for the journey that it has gifted me with. Today I bask in the ‘WE’ of LEM and I have never felt so supported or connected. I know that the answers lie within now and I am grateful for the many people, modalities and products that helped me to open up to uncover them!