I recently got back from a wonderful adventure with Jake in Belize. We waited a long time to travel overseas together. We haven't really taken a trip, just the two of us in over 17 years...really, since our honeymoon! I had an epiphany while we were there on my definition of adventure.
All of these years I have taken on Jake's (and society's) version of adventure...Sometimes it's hard to know what beliefs are my own and which ones I've adopt from my loved ones without checking in to see if it fits what I believe to be true inside. While on an island with 3 other couples, just outside of Dangriga, there was plenty opportunity for water adventures. We were there for 6 days and the time seemed to fly by. We signed up for a Mayan Ruins adventure and a snorkeling trip. The Mayan Ruins were amazing to witness and we had lots of stories to tell from that trip.
Then our snorkeling trip got cancelled due to weather. I was a little disappointed because I had been holding off on snorkeling with Jake. Then Jake went on a spear fishing trip with the other men on the island. He had a blast and couldn't wait to come back to tell me all about them and show me the GoPro footage. I stayed back and read my little heart away and basked in the sun, soaking up some much needed vitamin D. But, I kept having feelings of judgement on myself for not adventuring enough.
Upon Jake's, return as he was telling me all about his adventure, I caught myself wondering if I 'should' have gone. There was no real desire to when I checked in...just a lingering 'should'. As he told me about his underwater adventures of exploring nooks and crannies fueled by his curiosity, I came to the realization, "I was doing the same thing here on the island. I was diving into beneath the surface questions with the girls and digging into my thought provoking book." I finally understand that my preferred form of adventure is into the depths of the soul. I love to dive into people's stories and emotions. One of the most fitting quotes to summarize this desire is Anais Nin's, "I must be a mermaid, I have no fear of depths, and a great fear of shallow living." I LOVE THIS! So now I have come up with a fun analogy for Jake and I.
Sometimes, a situation calls for me to stay 'in the boat' with others and stay above water (bball games, community events) when it comes to connection and conversation.
Other times I may decide and ask the person or group if they want to 'snorkel' with me:) We can stay on the surface and decide to dive for shorts amount of time.
And my favorite is to get all the scuba gear on and go to the depths! Self-reflect, analyze and explore emotions. I am a master diver and I cherish every dive I get to take with other brave humans that are willing to exlore:)
Diving into the life is like venturing into the dark. If you feel you're venturing into the vast unknown all by yourself, it can feel very scary to willingly put yourself out of your comfort zone. But if someone is there to hold your hand, whether they're with you in person or connected to you on some other plane, having the company of others who care about you tends to make you feel brave" Lissa Rankin,Author of The Fear Cure"
Thank you Jake for always helping me to feel brave on a daily basis, Jake Carlisle. I love adventuring into the depths with you!